Never Enough
by Frenzy In Delirium
Summary: Aspiring author Bella Cullen, seems put together on the outside, but her personal life is far from it. See how she copes with writing her book, taking care of her son, and dealing with her distant husband.
1. Chapter 1

**Yes your eyes are not fooling you, this is an update. I'm sorry its taken so long, but I'm back :) I'm going to focus on one story at a time so that I don't get overwhelmed with stories. I combined the prelude and chapter 1. Chapter 2 is coming soon after :)**

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**Prelude**

_"I adore you," Anthony whispered softly in Marie's ear. "I love you," He said louder, voice firmer._

_Marie tightened her arms around his broad shoulders as he trailed kisses down her elegant neck. She gripped his dark brown hair in her hands, needing something to hold onto._

_"Anthony," Marie replied almost in a sob. "Don't do this."_

_"I love you." He pulled back from her tantalizing form; pain was etched onto his face as he stared into Marie's saddened green eyes._

_Her soft bronze ringlets were so unique, he could pinpoint her in a crowd and her soft green eyes were so powerful, they could bring any man to their knees. She was exquisite and he wanted to make her his._

_'She was so beautiful.' He thought. 'I just wish she could love me too.'_

"Bella," His velvet voice brings me out of my fictional world and causes me to halt my typing in surprise.

My husband, Edward Cullen, stands in the doorway of my office looking utterly exhausted, but still gorgeous, hauntingly so. In his arms sleeps his little look-alike, Masen.

I take my hands off of the keys and sit up straighter in my chair as he walks over to me. "What are you doing home? It's early." It was 7:30; he usually got off at 9:00 and was home by 10:00.

Edward just shrugs in response and places a kiss on our son's curly bronze hair. I sigh heavily. I hated when he ignored my questions like that.

He remains in the doorway with Masen in his arms for a moment, not saying anything. It was starting to make me uncomfortable. I just wanted to yell. '_Can I help you with something!'_

As if reading my mind, he clears his throat and says, "I just came in here, to tell you I was home." Masen buries himself deeper into his father's arms as Edward comes nearer. "I'm going to head up to bed now. I'll tuck Masen in."

I nod. Standing up from my chair, I lean over and give Masen a kiss on his soft cheek before hesitantly covering Edward's mouth with my own.

It feels strange, the kiss. I didn't like the feeling at all.

Edward froze the second our lips connected, but quickly became responsive and moved his lips softly over mine.

The kiss was quick, barely lasting three seconds. Edward looks flustered as he pulls back and not in a good way.

He knew the kiss felt off.

"Goodnight Edward," I say sitting back in my chair while he walks toward the door.

He pauses at the doorway and says without turning to face me, "Goodnight Isabella."

I bite my quivering lip as he disappears into the hallway. My hands don't return to the keys. If I continued to type, the whole plot of my story would be muddled, connected with my own feelings.

Even if my own marriage is crumbling down, I won't take my story with it. Anthony and Marie deserve a chance, even if I can't get one.

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**Chapter 1**

"_Oh Marie," Her cousin, Brandy, sang in her ear. "You have an admirer."_

'_Again.' Marie thought bitterly. "Who is it this time, dear cousin?" She asked aloud, not turning to face this said admirer._

_Brandy giggled while twirling a lock of her fiery red hair. "A new member of the kings' court, Sir Anthony of Scotland; quite a sight he is. Oh you are lucky, cousin, for his eyes are only on you."_

_Marie sighed and took a sip of wine out of her crystal goblet. _

"_Marie, just look before he turns away," Brandy encouraged._

_With her head held high, Marie slowly turned to face this 'Sir Anthony.'_

_She almost dropped her glass in surprise. The gasp that left her mouth did not go unnoticed by Brandy._

"_See, I told you he was dashing. Oh, mother's calling me. Go talk to him." Brandy urged once last time before wandering off._

_Marie stayed frozen, unable to do anything else. Her cousin had been right. Sir Anthony was gorgeous. Unlike any other man, she's seen before._

_He smiled crookedly as he caught her stare in his deep brown orbs. Marie wanted to do nothing more than to just stare at them all day._

_With new found confidence, she downed the rest of her wine in one gulp, in a very un-lady like manner, and started to walk toward him…_

"Mommy!"

Once again I was brought out of my little world by a sweet velvet voice, but this time the voice was higher in pitch.

The voice belonged to none other than my little spider monkey, Masen.

My hands drop from the keys just in time to catch Masen as he jumps into my lap.

I cradle my son in my arms and look toward Edward, who stands at the door awkwardly.

'We always seemed to meet like this,' I notice, 'always in my office.'

Edward clears his throat, bringing my attention back to him.

"Good morning." He says with a slight smile.

"Good morning." I say back to him.

"Morning!" Masen repeats after us.

I laugh and look down at my son, who was looking up at me with his beautiful wide green eyes.

"Well, where is my good morning kiss baby?" I ask playfully, puckering my lips.

Masen giggles and places a sloppy kiss on my lips before rubbing his nose against mine in a sweet Eskimo kiss.

"Love you, Mase."

"Love you too Mommy." He snuggles deeper into my arms and starts to play with my necklace that Edward bought me when Masen was born.

I smack my lips together. "Is that bananas I taste? You had 'nanas this morning, baby?"

Masen nods; still playing with my necklace.

I rub by hand down his back and glance back up at Edward.

"Are you not going to work?" I ask taking notice of his attire. He looked freshly showered and was dressed a grey tee and black jeans. He was definitely not dressed for the hospital.

He shakes his head, causing some of his still damp bronze hair to stick to his forehead. My hand twitches wanting to push it away, but he runs a hand through his hair and slicks it back slightly.

"No." He replies. "I wanted to stay home with Mase today."

This was news.

"Oh." I sit up straighter. "I wish you would have told me earlier."

Edward raises an eyebrow in question.

"My dad and Sue wanted to watch him today."

He looks at me, wondering what the problem was. "Well can't you just call them and tell them there's a change in plans?"

I sigh and looked down at Masen.

"Mase, why don't you go in the living room and play with some of your toys while daddy and I talk."

Masen looks confused, but none-the-less he hops down from my lap and wanders out of my office.

When he was gone, I look at Edward. "They were really looking forward-"

"_And_ Bella?" He asks harshly, cutting me off. "He's my son and I wanted to spend the day with him, because during the week I have to work." He then mumbles lowly. "But you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

My eye twitches. "Excuse me. Did you say what I thought you did? I work Edward."

Edward grips his now dried hair clearly frustrated. "I didn't say that you didn't Bella. I just implied that what you do is less complex then what I do. You have it easier."

I stand up from my chair. "Writing a book is not easy Edward. It takes time and patience. Granted it's not the same as working in an ER, but it's what I enjoy. You insulted me."

He sighs. "Bella I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting. We're having a heated discussion."

"We're fighting."

"No we're not.

"Yes we are."

"No-" He cuts me off.

"Great." He says in a rough voice. "Now we're fighting about us fighting."

"You know what Edward, forget it." I hiss. "If you're watching Masen today, then _you're _calling Charlie and Sue because _I'm_ not doing it."

"Mommy!"

We both look to where Masen was standing in the doorway with sad look on his young face. "Why you yelling at each ov'er?"

"Even our three year old knows we're fighting." Edward mumbles.

I narrow my eyes at him and walk over to Masen. I pick him up and place kisses on his chubby cheeks. "Your daddy and I aren't yelling, we are just deciding who loves you more. And of course, it's a tie." I nuzzle my nose with his in an Eskimo kiss as he giggles.

I hand Masen to Edward.

Turning my back to him, I grab a light jacket that was thrown on a hook and my phone and keys.

"Where are you going?" Edward asks exasperated.

"I just need some air." I tell him, shrugging on my jacket. "I'll be back around noon."

"Bella…" He starts, but I just shake my head and hold up one hand.

"Just forget it Edward." I say, tiredly.

Edward nods stiffly and leans down to give me a kiss. It still felt off.

"I love you." He whispers, almost inaudibly.

"I love you too." I say in the same voice. I then turned to Masen, who looks utterly confused. "I love you baby. Be a good boy for daddy. I'll see you soon."

"Ok mommy."

I smile and kiss him on the forehead before turning out of the office and out the front door.

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**I re-did this chapter and combined the Prelude and Chapter 1 together.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Dear Diary,_

_Sir Anthony has bewitched me with some sort of spell. I am at his will ever time those dark pools of chocolate glance my way. I'm so confused, diary. I never would have thought myself to be falling in love. Ever since I was a babe my future was set out for me, written in stone. I was to grow into a woman, be betrothed to some pompous aristocrat, get married, and bear him heirs. That's how it was meant to be._

_Sir Anthony is changing my plans. Again I say I'm confused. What shall I do diary? At night when I lay my head to rest, I see his face in my dreams. I feel his arms wrapped around me and I want nothing more than for him to never let go. These kinds of thoughts are useless for I am to be betrothed soon after my seventeenth birthday. I fear there is no hope for what my heart wants and that is Sir Anthony._

_It is late and I should retire soon, but I leave you diary with this last question?_

_Should I follow my heart? Or should I just follow the plan that was set since birth?_

_Once again I'm confused._

I don't go far.

Just to a local coffee shop called _The Meadow_ ten minutes away from the house. I park my truck and get out, bundling my coat tighter around me as I trek toward the door. Inside the coffee shop it was warm and smelled of pastries and delicious coffee grounds. My mouth waters at the scent.

It was busy here today which meant a line to the counter.

_Great._

With a sigh, I stand and wait for my turn to order. Around three minutes in of waiting, it was finally my turn. I step up to the counter, smile at the barista, and order a large cup of coffee and a blueberry muffin.

With my purchases in hand, I find a table near the back windows and sit down. Bringing the coffee cup up to my mouth, I take a sip and groan. I swear my eyes almost roll to the back of my head at the taste of the coffee. It was deliciously hot and rich in flavor and made me feel ten times better after my argument with Edward. The muffin was just as great. It was warm and buttery, melted in my mouth at the first bite too.

I look out the window next to me and take in the dreary image. There was a thunderstorm early this morning and the ground was still slick and shiny from the harsh rain. Judging by the light grey skies, it was going to rain again, but what can you expect living in the rainiest state in America, Washington State that is.

I turn from the window and resume consuming my hot coffee and blueberry muffin.

Midway through my drink and snack, my phone starts to vibrate in my pocket. Pulling it out from my pocket, I see that it's an email from my dad, Charlie.

It reads:

**From: **chiefcswan(at)forkspolice(dot)gov**  
**

**To:** Bella-m-Cullen(at)gmail(dot)com

**Subject:** Call from Edward.

**Date:** Friday, July 11, 2008 10:38

_Your husband just called to alert us that Masen's not coming over. All week, Sue was looking forward to seeing him. I won't have him upsetting my wife. Fix this._

_-C. Swan_

Sigh.

My father isn't fond of Edward and I don't mean just right now. It's been like this for a while. Ever since I went off to Seattle University and met Edward—I was a freshman, Edward was a junior—Charlie's kept his eye on him and his hand on his gun.

_What can I say…I'm his baby girl. _That and Edward was two years older than me and Charlie felt that he was just using me for…obvious reasons.

_That was a fun conversation._

Charlie Swan's dislike escalated into total despise when I got pregnant in my junior year of college by Edward, of course. But after Masen was born, things simmered down and Charlie finally got married to his girlfriend of four years, Sue Clearwater.

I've known Sue ever since I was fourteen, she was like a mother to me, and Charlie just made it official when he wed her. After their marriage, they settled into my childhood home in Forks, Washington—where Charlie was the Chief of Police—with Sue's two children from a previous marriage, Leah who is now 17 and Seth who is now 15.

This brought me back to my own child who was supposed to stay over for the day, maybe even the weekend, at their house.

I know I told Edward to call Charlie and Sue himself if he wanted to spend the day with Masen, but I didn't think he would actually call them because I knew and he knew that Sue would be upset over the fact. Sue absolutely adored Masen and while my father may not like Edward, Sue has been nothing but genial towards him.

_And then he goes ahead and upsets her. He's really starting to piss me off._

With an angry shake of my head, I quickly type a response.

**From:** Bella-m-Cullen(at)gmail(dot)com

**To: **chiefcswan(at)forkspolice(dot)gov**  
**

**Subject:** I'm sorry.

**Date:** Friday, July 11, 2008 10:43

_I'm sorry that Sue's upset dad, but Masen is Edward's son. If he wants to spend the day with him, he can. I'm sorry, but that's the truth. You know that._

_Tell you what. I'll go home and try to talk some sense into him. Okay? _

_.Bella. _

Without waiting for a reply, I slipped my phone into my back pocket as I stood up and collected my half-finished coffee and muffin wrapper. I walked over to the trash bin and threw away everything before heading outside to my truck.

As I settled into the driver's side, my phone buzzed.

**From: **chiefcswan(at)forkspolice(dot)gov

**To:** Bella-m-Cullen(at)gmail(dot)com

**Subject:** Location?

**Date:** Friday, July 11, 2008 10:56

_You're not home? Where are you? Did you two get into another fight? Do I need to get my gun out?_

_And I know who my grandson's father is and his rights to said grandchild. But please talk some sense into him. Sue and I haven't see Masen in a few weeks. We miss him; Leah and Seth too._

_-C. Swan_

I reply.

**From:** Bella-m-Cullen(at)gmail(dot)com

**To: **chiefcswan(at)forkspolice(dot)gov**  
**

**Subject:** I'm sorry.

**Date:** Friday, July 11, 2008 11: 07

_Chief, calm down with the gun talk. *smiles* I just went to a local coffee shop for a cup and a blueberry muffin. Everything is fine. I'm heading home now._

_I understand you miss him, but remember you guys can come over to our house anytime. You're always welcomed. _

_I have to get off the phone now, so I can drive. I love you dad. Tell the family I said 'hi' and give them my love as well._

_I call you later on today._

_.Bella._

I toss my phone over onto the passenger's side and turn on the truck. The loud boom of my antique vehicle didn't faze me as I back out of the parking spot and head home.

As I walk through the front door, it was silent. I found this odd considering a three year old lived here.

I step further into the foyer, shutting the door behind me, and hung my jacket onto one of the hooks near the door.

I call out, "Edward!"

Silence.

I furrow my brows and start for the stairs. Once upstairs, I could hear hushed laughter and giggles coming from down the hall where Masen's room was located. Curiously, I walk down the hallway, my feet silent on the carpeted floor since I still had my shoes on, and stopped in front of Masen's half opened door.

I push the door open the rest of the way to see Edward and Masen sitting on the floor coloring. Drawing books were scattered everywhere as well as colored pencils and markers. Crayon boxes were opened and crayons littered the floor along with all the other coloring tools.

I smile at the sight and lean against the doorway, arms-crossed. I haven't seen this kind of interaction between the two in a while, mostly due to Edward's crazy working schedule at the hospital. I missed seeing Masen laugh and have a good time with his father. It angered me Edward wasn't around much.

I just stand there a moment, taking in the sight, not wanting to interrupt the moment when Edward glances up at me. He was smiling, but when his eyes met mine, the smile fades from his handsome face. I was perturbed by this and my own smile vanished as well. Masen, whose back was to me, was unaware by his father's sudden change in demeanor and kept on coloring with a red crayon, smiling happily.

Edward was still staring at me with a blank face so I nudged my head towards the hallway and leaned away from the doorway.

_Let's talk. _I mouth to him.

He nods and kisses Masen's forehead, telling him he'd be right back. I step out into the hallway and he follows, his footsteps silent behind me.

I keep walking until we got to our room.

I open the door and step inside. He follows.

Without turning to look at him, I sit down on the edge of the bed and wait. It felt like hours before he spoke.

"Where'd you go?" His voice was gruff and slightly angered.

"To _The Meadow_ for some coffee," I answer and after a pause I say, "Are you going to apologize for this morning?"

He sighs and looks me dead in the eyes. "I'm sorry Bella."

It didn't feel sincere.

"Don't apologize if you don't mean it Edward." I say _very_ irritated. My hands come up to my hair and I tug at the curled strands in frustration.

"I do mean it Bella. I don't know what else you want me to say—"

"Well why don't you start by saying what an asshole you were being when you told me that I have no _fucking _career!" I yell. We had fairly thick walls and our room was far enough away from Masen's so I didn't worry about him hearing anything.

Edward's nostrils flare and his usually bright green eyes start to turn dark. "I didn't mean it like that and you know it." His voice was strangely calm. I didn't like it.

"Do I? Do I know it _Edward_?" I mock causing him to growl lowly. I was pissing him off and I _loved _it.

"Isabella, stop testing my patience." He puts his hands on his hips and glowers at me. "You're acting immature."

I was breathing heavily now. The anger just builds inside of me. I jump to my feet and shout at him. "And you're acting like a 'Grade A' jackass!"

Edward snaps.

He stalks toward me and grabs my shoulders using little force to push me onto the bed with him on top. His forehead comes crashing down on mine, his face only inches away, but I wasn't scared.

His teeth were clenched as he spoke through them. "I already said sorry. I don't know what else you want." He pauses. "Tell me what you want Bella."

I lick my suddenly dry lips and as I did so, I catch a faint taste of Edward's breath on my tongue. I wanted nothing more at this moment than to yank his face towards mine and kiss him angrily, pushing all my emotions to him through our lips. I wanted him to feel what I feel. I wanted him to understand.

"I want…" I let my voice trail off as my eyes locked with his. I stare intently into the dark jade that captured me and pulled me in all those years ago and still held me to this day.

Edward looks back at me, searching, his eyebrows furrow in deep concentration. His nostril's flare with each deep breath; he was beautiful but pained.

"I want." My voice comes out firmer, more assured. "I want you to _never _say what you said this morning ever again, because I do have a career Edward. I'm a full-time mother and a full-time writer and those things are important to me and I enjoy and absolutely love what I do."

Edward cut in, in a gruff voice. "I'm truly sorry for what I said, Bella. I was being a jerk, an asshole, a moron, an idiot…there are a plethora of adjectives that describe how I was being, but I really didn't mean to insult you. Please accept my apology."

Now _that _sounded genuine.

I crack a small smile and nod before continuing. "Second, I want Masen to go to my father's house today."

Edward scoffs and shakes his head vehemently. "No." He starts to move off of me but I grab him by the shoulders and hold him still as best as I could with the little muscle I had. "I'm not agreeing to that Bella. I want to spend the day with him because I normally don't get to."

I could feel the anger start to build up again. "And that's nobody's fault but yours, Edward."

"What are you talking about Bella?" He sighs. "I don't have complete control over my work schedule at the hospital."

"I know, but you do have some control over it." I say. "Tell me this, do you have to stand in for a co-worker when they ask you to? No! You could say 'I want to go home and spend some time with my family, my son.' Do you have to work overtime? No! And don't you dare give me that bullshit about how we could use the extra money, because we have enough money Edward."

Edward's silent, his expression is shocked and once again, pained. He even looks a bit guilty.

I take a deep breath and wiggle out from under him into a sit up position on the bed. I kick off my shoes as I do so. He mimics my position and stares down at his lap, where his hands lay.

I continue. "Sometimes I feel like you use the hospital as an escape from home, from Masen…from me."

"Bella," He says in a choked whisper and grabs my hands. "I'm sorry." He doesn't deny it.

I try to pull my hands from him, but he holds on tight. I give up and say. "Just…you know what I went through with Ren—" I choke on the name. "Fuck, I just know how it is to grow up without one parent and I don't want that for Masen. Please don't let him endure what I had to endure. Please."

Edward clenches his eyes tightly and slowly nods. "Okay," he says. "Masen can go to Charlie and Sue's house today and I'll try to cut back on how much I work."

I shook my head. "You'll try? That's not enough. Say you'll promise Edward."

Edward pulls his hands from mine and pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes still closed as well as his jaw clenched causing the skin of his cheeks to ripple with tension. "I can't promise that Bella."

"Edward…"

He grunts and opens his eyes. His hands fall with a slap as the skin of his hands meets the fabric of his jeans. Edward's eyes turn to me and his expression is soft. "Bella, I'll try my _damnest_ to cut hours. That's all I can offer you and Masen."

I sigh. "Fine. If that's all you can do…" _But it was far from fine. _"I'm going to call Charlie and tell him where going to bring Masen over." I say to him, standing up from the bed and reach down to grab my discarded shoes. "What time is it?"

He glances at the alarm clock on his side table and tells me it's noon.

"Okay can you get Masen ready and pack a bag for him? I'm going to be downstairs in my office. Come down when your finish."

Edward nods and follows me out into the hall where we part ways—him towards Masen's room, me down the stairs.

Once in my office, I take a seat at the edge of my desk and pick up the landline. I dial Charlie's number and wait.

"Hello, Swan residence." My dad answers in that deep voice of his.

"Dad," I say back to him. "It's me."

"Bella," He takes a moment and continues. "So did you get everything sorted out?"

"Yes," I answer. "I've talked to Edward and Masen is coming over. Have you eaten lunch yet?"

"No, but Sue's cooking something up right now. Why?"

"I was thinking we could all have lunch together. What do you think?"

"Does this 'we' include your husband?"

I sigh. "Yes dad and his name is Edward."

"I know what his name is; I just don't feel like I need to use it," He replies stubbornly.

I roll my eyes. "So can we stay for lunch or what?"

"I'll ask Sue," Charlie says with reluctance.

As I wait for him to get back to me, Edward appears in the doorway. "We're ready to go," He says lowly.

I nod and point to the phone. 'One moment,' I mouth.

Edward nods back and walks away.

"Sue said she would love it if you stayed for lunch," Charlie responds, coming back on the line.

"Okay, great. We'll be there around a quarter till one, actually with Edward's driving we'll be there in thirty minutes."

"I really should give that boy a ticket one day for driving like a maniac with my daughter and grandson in the car."

"Oh shut it old man." I tease. "We're fine and I love you. I'll see you soon."

"Love you too Bells. See you soon."

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**Next chapter, they go to Chief Swan's house :)**  
**Review please :)  
**


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